The Spending Season is Coming to a Store Near You
As the chill in the air approaches, thoughts turn to football, fireplaces, hot soup and the holidays. Is this a joyous time for you or a time of anxiety? Have you ever wondered how to celebrate this time of renewal without the regrets and frustration of overwhelming January Jingle Bills?
You can suffer through yet another anxious spending season, or you can make this year a season of reflection, renewal and inner wisdom by changing your relationship to money. Changing how you relate to money actually changes just about everything, including your relationship to yourself and others. It's easier to accomplish this change by making a personal commitment to having open and honest communications with yourself and others.
Open, honest money conversations remain one of our last, great taboos. It is easier to talk about sex than to talk about money. This time of year adds a special burden to an already difficult conversation. Hidden fears about money abound for most everyone. You automatically bring these fears to any money discussions. It's important to do some introspection to discover your hidden fears before you begin a money conversation with others. Fear comes from the many preconceived notions about money and what it represents. One of the most common money messages sent to us by advertisers is that spending money on their product represents love and acceptance. Note the emotional tag lines when listening to the ads this season. It's so easy to think love can be bought at the department store when that message is conveyed over and over again. The complexity of the situation is that you CAN show your love through purchasing a wonderful gift. But only with clarity can you determine if you have hidden motives in reaching beyond your financial comfort zone to show love.
It is much easier to remain confused and anxious when you are not clear with yourself. Your internal conversation might sound like, "I can't bring this up. What will the other person think?" Maybe you fear they will think you're cheap, overly indulgent, wasteful, too frugal, or something even worse. These imagined fears result from a lack of internal clarity masquerading as fear of approval.
Slow down and take a deeper look inside to determine for yourself what is appropriate and reasonable for your pocketbook. Count parties and gifts, know when you are giving from obligation and recognize the pressures of advertising. Once you have determined where your holiday financial comfort level is, then you can have clean, clear holiday money conversations with your family and friends.
Remember to be specific in these conversations. Statements like "Let's not spend too much money," or "I don't want to you to buy me something expensive" are too vague. What does "too much money" or "too expensive" mean to you? Would those words mean the same thing to someone with more or less money than you? Instead, use a dollar amount. "The family is growing! Let's agree not to spend more than $30 on each family member." Throwing a holiday party? Be sure to include a value expectation on any gift exchanges in the invitation you send.
Making clear, concise money agreements will help everyone relax and enjoy this season. Making wise dollar amount agreements and keeping them is one of the best ways to have a wonderfully peaceful and joyous holiday season.
Joyous Prosperity,
Marilyn August,
Business Advisor/Wealth Coach
